What They Do With Babies

Tammy:

What she does: She's not sure
Why she does it: She forgot to use a condom

Mandy:

What she does: Love it, hug it, weep in its presence
Why she does it: Instead seeing babies as squirming, unprepared slabs of animals, Mandy sees babies as the purest part of life and relentlessly loves them without condition.

Courtney:

What she does: Get its picture taken
Why she does it: Not only does Courtney think that her pale little bag of flesh and poop is adorable, she hasn't gotten this much attention for anything except her troll doll collection or the time she threw up in the pool during gym class.

Misty:

What she does: Pinch it
Why she does it: Because, really, there is no god.