Defining the Difference Between Tammy and Mandy

2009-06-05T15:14:00.002-04:00

Please visit The Tammy and Mandy Doggie Bag for occasional Tammy/Mandy/Courtney/Misty photo postings with limited text. To submit a photograph for the site, please email me at sanger.devon@gmail.com.

They Will Return Again Someday

2009-05-08T12:38:00.001-04:00

For now, enjoy this woman who is all of them.

Misty Ties It Below The Chin

2009-05-07T15:55:00.002-04:00

Misty and "Friend"

2009-05-05T15:40:00.004-04:00

Everyone as an Awkward Amateur Model

2009-05-05T12:45:00.005-04:00

Tammy:

Mandy:

Courtney:

Misty:

Tammy Flipbook

2009-05-04T15:01:00.003-04:00

Anyone Can Do It

2009-05-01T15:47:00.003-04:00

How to Spot a Mandy: Adult Braces

2009-05-01T14:07:00.005-04:00

Comprehensive Decimation

2009-04-29T11:16:00.003-04:00

I used to think the end of the world would involve multiple car crashes and the guitar solo in November Rain, but it turns out the apocalypse already secretly happened in Courtney's basement sometime in 1994.

Pick Your Favorite and Name Her

2009-04-29T11:14:00.001-04:00

Here's mine and her name is Mandy:

Tammy with Sturdy Teeth

2009-04-29T11:07:00.002-04:00

Mandy Steppin' Out

2009-04-29T11:05:00.001-04:00

Herding Behavior

2009-04-28T14:04:00.003-04:00

Tammy

Mandy

Courtney

Misty

Mother/Daughter Misty Bonding

2009-04-27T16:08:00.005-04:00

"One day your vagina will be repulsive like mine"

Mistys and Mandys Make Muscles

2009-04-27T14:29:00.003-04:00

How Mandy Keeps it Sexy

2009-04-27T14:08:00.001-04:00

The One That Spawned Her

2009-04-23T11:19:00.004-04:00

Remember this Misty? Well I just wanted to add the picture of her resourceful Tammy mother, who was the one who handed off her newborn to the devil in exchange for foxy cheekbones and an endless supply of Planter's Punch:

Everyone With Awesome Hair

2009-04-22T13:02:00.001-04:00

How to Spot a Mandy: A Specific Willingness to Identify With Animals

2009-04-22T11:29:00.002-04:00

For Sabrina Goldsman

The Perfect Woman

2009-04-20T14:12:00.002-04:00

Some troublemaker recently voted for Courtney, making her tied with Tammy for the one who will be most missed. Therefore, I present two versions of the Tammy/Courtney or, as she calls herself, the Perfect Woman.

The Perfect Woman #1:

The Perfect Woman #2:

Imparted Misty Photo

2009-04-20T09:55:00.002-04:00

Photo from Emily Carroll. Send found photographs to sanger.devon@gmail.com.

For Those Who Will Miss Misty

2009-04-16T14:59:00.003-04:00

Some Mistys, all with the sexy undertones of maternal psychological abuse:

Misty #1:

Misty #2:

Misty #3:

Misty #4:

For Those Who Will Miss Mandy

2009-04-16T12:37:00.008-04:00

Just click HERE and never turn back.

.

For Those Who Will Miss Courtney

2009-04-16T11:26:00.008-04:00

A messy smear of Courtneys:

Tammy, of all Sorts, Will Be Missed

2009-04-13T15:34:00.004-04:00

Misty and Child Being Free in Nature

2009-04-10T12:44:00.001-04:00

This Shit is Tammy

2009-04-10T11:45:00.010-04:00

Just because you have irregular teeth and a penchant for posing on or in anything you can find doesn't necessarily make you a Courtney, so go ahead and post a digitally modified picture of your ass on the internet, choose the right choker necklace, strap your beeper on, and go out and get wasted enough that you come home and shoot a hole through your Metallica shrine and blame it on your whore of a best friend the next day.

Extra #1: Tammy's Mutant Cat (?) Mother

A Fond Farewell to Courtney's Boyfriend

2009-04-09T14:47:00.003-04:00

Hardcore Courtney

2009-04-09T14:16:00.004-04:00

You can tell a staunch Courtney by if she uses soda for whatever water is typically used for.

A Purebred Tammy

2009-04-09T11:04:00.011-04:00

It only takes a few things to look like a true Tammy (some sort of evidently impending cancer, an inability to properly wear a bra, a sizable collection of sweatpants shorts, and a face that becomes increasingly aberrant the closer you get to it), but to really pull it off takes a special charm and a history of actually working for beer.

The Sarah Palin Misty

2009-04-08T12:55:00.002-04:00

Mandy Cheerleaders Keeping It Pointed

2009-04-08T12:30:00.000-04:00

The Jet-Setting American Dream Courtney

2009-04-08T11:05:00.008-04:00

This American Dream Courtney, who is what was left over after Las Vegas and a cruise liner mated, found her perfect match in a feigned-mobster car salesmen who is able to vacation in exotic places where one never has to leave the vicinity of their hotel to be entertained; leaving your twelve year old self trembling with jealousy.

Lit Tammy II

2009-04-02T12:59:00.002-04:00

This Tammy is a lot like the other lit Tammy, except that instead of making her sink into the couch, cocktails prompt her to do things like drive naked to get cigarettes and convince her toddler grandchildren to push each other off the roof.

Courtney Gives the OK

2009-04-02T11:14:00.001-04:00

Misty in Pleats

2009-04-01T15:34:00.003-04:00

The problem with pleats is that they are unflattering and can create an ass on the front of the body, not to mention they hardly distract the viewer when it is someone from the bowels of a feverish nightmare who is wearing them.

The Last of the Mandy and Misty Glamour

2009-04-01T15:30:00.001-04:00

Misty

2009-03-31T15:24:00.002-04:00

This Misty is the actual embodiment of the first rogue twitch in your pants when you were in kindergarten.

One Woman Does It All

2009-03-31T13:37:00.002-04:00

Tammy:

Mandy:

Courtney:

Misty:

Monday Query: Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, Misty, or Mutant Cat?

2009-03-30T15:26:00.005-04:00

Awesome Teams of Mistys

2009-03-30T15:05:00.003-04:00

Teen America Mandy

2009-03-30T14:14:00.005-04:00

This type of Mandy likes writing in her diary, mall food courts, and hunky substitute teachers. She's basically all the sweet goof of Courtney without the cursing and smell of decaying prostitutes.

Lit Tammy

2009-03-30T13:42:00.006-04:00

This is the type of Tammy that would be considered pretty mellow because she enjoys just sitting on the couch all day "babysitting" her grandkids while sipping on drinks she calls her "appetizers" and doing her makeup at the kitchen table, but she can get easily agitated when her husbands comes home and refuses to have a threesome with the mailman or when she loses track of where the bathroom is.

Update

2009-03-26T13:49:00.005-04:00

Hi Friends. As I will be moving in a couple of months and starting graduate school in the fall, I will be winding down Tammy and Mandy within the next few weeks (perhaps to be resumed later in my life when I have turned from this:

to this:

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-25T15:55:00.001-04:00

[Courtney]

Mandy Allogamy

2009-03-25T11:34:00.003-04:00

Sometimes it looks like a computer did it.

How to Spot a Tammy: Sturgis Motor Classic, Sturgis SD

2009-03-25T11:23:00.002-04:00

The Mandyest Courtney

2009-03-24T13:06:00.006-04:00

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-23T16:18:00.001-04:00

[Mandy/Misty]

72 Tammys

2009-03-23T12:34:00.007-04:00

This Tammy Two-Step Party is so good that I would start behaving if you told me that this is what Heaven looks like.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-22T15:19:00.001-04:00

[Courtney posing]

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-21T18:25:00.001-04:00

[Misty]

The Daily Featured Photograph[s]

2009-03-20T15:47:00.001-04:00

[Misty being weird]

Misty and Her Obligatory Bikini Shots, Pool Side Visor, and Brief Skiing Stint

2009-03-20T15:37:00.003-04:00

Complicated Collections

2009-03-19T12:49:00.007-04:00

Here is a Mandy who likes to draw and has made the portraits below. Her own captions are quoted with each one.

"Geez, I really need to create a recent drawing of this gorgeous man. Afterall, he is "The One"!Just wish I had the time. I really need to retire."

"Another picture done in the 80s of a soap actress named Charlotte Ross I admired at the time. She has since then been in several TV movies and series as well as films. She was most recently known for her 3yr stint on NYPD Blue as detective Connie McDowell."

"Oh yes, it's Patrick Swayze! My Mom and I had a thing for him during his "Dirty Dancing" days which is why we went to see "Point Break" at the theaters. We initially went for him but relatively unknown Keanu caught our eye. Patrick still holds a special place in our hearts, though."

"I did this a way back when I was into actor Joey Lawrence. This is a picture of him and his younger brothers who are also actors. A talented trio."

"This one is done on my favorite animal...cats. I put a rose in it's mouth to add my own personal touch."

This Mandy also has an entire room of her house devoted to the film The Matrix. She has posters, cardboard cutouts, and elaborate action figures.

But the best collection of all is Mandy's mother's (picture sadly unavailable) doll collection. This is not a store, but a room in a house.

The Daily Featured Photograph[s]

2009-03-19T12:28:00.001-04:00

[Mandy]

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-18T15:44:00.000-04:00

[Courtney & meat]

The Littlest One

2009-03-18T15:04:00.006-04:00

For a little while I wasn't sure who this lady was (I just called her "Master of the Universe/My Pants"), but then I saw the first picture I posted below and realized that I found the most awesome and glamorous little Courtney that ever was. She is not holding anything back.

A Mandy Family

2009-03-18T13:57:00.007-04:00

This Mandy family is characterized by being the sort of pedigree that you try to avoid from age eleven on, until you wake up in a river bank and realize that all the whippets, burn wounds, and dabbles in organized crime could have been avoided if only you had these doughy people and a striped shirt to surround you during those formative years.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-17T13:19:00.002-04:00

[Tammy]

A Courtney and Her Boyfriend

2009-03-17T13:17:00.004-04:00

Extra #1: And their friend

Extra #2: Why not pose here?

Mandy's Participation

2009-03-16T15:33:00.005-04:00

Mandy parenting can often be distinguished by Mandy's concern for her children's happiness over her concern for their safety, accountability, or dignity. This can play out with not only her allowance of, but also her participation in, such things like eating candy before dinner and singing loudly during the evening news. But then the kids get older.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-16T15:31:00.001-04:00

[Mandy Marlboro girls]

Misty in Sunglasses

2009-03-16T11:09:00.010-04:00

Unless you're Linda Pugach, wearing fantastic sunglasses every day in every situation for 40 years solely for aesthetic reasons pretty much makes you one big brazen Misty, who would be awesome except for the movie star delusions and deliberate refusal to make eye contact with the rest of the world.

Extra #1:
The only time a sunglasses Misty can remove her sunglasses is in the presence of an even more powerful and glacial Misty who would not tolerate any attention taken away from her delicate beauty and elegantly jam-packed colon.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-15T15:57:00.000-04:00

[Courtney]

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-14T15:01:00.001-04:00

[Misty]

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-13T15:57:00.002-04:00

[Mandy]

Fuck You, Tammy Knows How to Wear the Pants, Too

2009-03-13T12:41:00.003-04:00

More Tammy:

Extra #1: Tammy's friend, Tammy

The Daily Featured Photograph[s]

2009-03-12T13:19:00.002-04:00

[Mandy photo shoot. Online dating, here she comes.]

Misty Works the System

2009-03-12T12:33:00.006-04:00

Upper crust Mistys aren't favorable because they are powerful and get that way through calculated dominance like trapping birds in cages and meat eating and doing cunning sexual jazzercise and snake wizardry- that sort of thing. Mistys aren't the only ones who just want to get what's theirs, but they are the only ones who succeeds in the shitty prescribed game, which is both enviable and disappointing.

Extra #1:
Check out the sort of Courtneyish Misty in the back

Extra #2:
I imagine this has something to do with water skiing, but I'm not sure how. Young Misty is in the middle.

Celebrity Misty: Nancy Grace

2009-03-11T14:42:00.004-04:00

Nancy Grace is as adorable as Dr. Laura Schlessinger but with less books and a little bit more cunt.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-11T14:39:00.001-04:00

[Tammy (like a pedestrian Beth Chapman)]

Let's Get Everyone in Some White Sneakers

2009-03-11T13:51:00.000-04:00

Tammy:

Mandy:

Courtney:

Misty:

Typical Carriage

2009-03-11T11:31:00.013-04:00

The way one carries themselves is obviously the largest external indicator of whether they are a Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, or Misty.

Tammy's body tends to have a fairly straight posture that is indicative of traditional confidence, but will often be in a relaxed position while her facial expression tends to be stiff. Her unbroken eye contact will be the most relentless part about her, until she gets drunk and in that case it becomes her vagina.

Mandy's demeanor is marked by artless and honest responses to things, quickly followed by self regulation and apologetic posture. Therefore, Mandys carriage can be either naturally bold or very hesitant and monitored- it tends to dance in between both, like there's an inconceivable gemstones sale playing on QVC while she has to explain to her child that his fish is dead.

Courtney's body tends to act as though it is unresistant inside a bouncy house, and that all space is an extension of her personal TV den. Courtney's posture is not upright, although it is out of comfort rather than out of uncertainty, and needless to say she put very little energy into regulating her reactions, facial expressions, and what comes out of, or in, her mouth.

Misty regulates how many times her husband can say the word "fart" in a week, so she's going to have a relentlessly controlled posture.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-10T13:18:00.000-04:00

[Mistys]

How to Spot a Mandy: Anything Related to Breast Cancer

2009-03-10T13:05:00.004-04:00

Which, in abstract, just looks like this:

A Classic Country Tammy Being Gentle To Things

2009-03-10T12:53:00.003-04:00

Extra #1: The real fucking queen of wicker chairs.

Extra #2: Tammy's friend Courtney and a wine cooler.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-09T14:06:00.001-04:00

[Mandy]

Courtney Calling

2009-03-09T13:43:00.002-04:00

I immediately assumed that this treasure was a Tammy, but after seeing her preoccupation with posing and the pink-haired Troll doll atop her computer, I realized this is just what a Courtney lesbian looks like. Sign me up to try on her baseball hat collection.

The Nurtured Misty

2009-03-09T12:38:00.007-04:00

Sometimes a person's blind acceptance of wealthy American convention (plus an appearance so flawless that she undoubtedly retouches her makeup before bedtime) is strong enough that a Misty will result, even though she has the sweet sparks of someone without bitterness. This Misty acts out of learned tradition instead of calculated animosity; rather than putting her daughter on a diet out of resentment, she puts her daughter on a diet so she can find a man and be happy. This Misty can be naive and forgivable, but will ultimately strictly adhere to the prescribed code of conduct that is marked by judgment and exclusion- but you try maintaining those eyebrows for 60 years without thinking you're better than everyone else.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-08T19:31:00.001-04:00

[Mandys]

The Daily Featured Photograph[s]

2009-03-07T13:06:00.000-05:00

[Courtneys]

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-06T17:45:00.000-05:00

[Mandys]

The Daily Featured Photograph[s]

2009-03-05T16:38:00.001-05:00

[Misty family]

Cleaning Out the Photo Albumn: The Mandy Pants Party Don't Ever Stop

2009-03-05T16:25:00.004-05:00

The Family Vacation Tammy

2009-03-05T11:04:00.008-05:00

There are some Tammys from the 1970s who seem to arise solely from the hot beach of your fantasy family vacation where you're fourteen and she's an indefinably older townie and you sneak out at night smoke cigarettes in her brother's car and she says something about how you can't save her from the gin, pale lipstick, and implied working class conditions and then you kiss and she drives away and you have your first lesson about how unjust the world is because it's not fair that someone so hot will have to actually have a job.

Mistys Teaching Their Daughters to Wear Fur

2009-03-04T15:56:00.002-05:00

The only way to acceptable way to wear fur is if it's fake and you're this Tammy:

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-04T13:48:00.000-05:00

[Misty]

How to Spot a Mandy: Traditional Jest

2009-03-04T12:54:00.012-05:00

For Mandy, some jokes get started and won't stop like the one year at Christmas when she and her Mandy sister thought it would be a good idea to take a picture that highlighted both the tree as well as their affection for one another, but once it was developed, their homophobic men pose actually looked silly and instead of scrapping the whole thing they decided that maybe it would be a funny idea to do it again next year at Christmas and then for every other Christmas until one of them dies/can't find find a variation of Christmas sweater that she hasn't worn yet.

Featured Tammy

2009-03-04T11:38:00.005-05:00

I considered for a second that this Tammy might be a Courtney, but when you have a curly mullet, man hands, and legs that give your grandchildren wet dreams, you're a Tammy.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-03T16:12:00.004-05:00

[Courtney]
While carelessly day-dreaming about running away to Mexico with Courtney's gorgeous, polyester-clad labia, I couldn't help but be distracted by the murmur of my mother's admonitory description of how crotch rot occurs and yet another one of the good things in life was ruined by my parents.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

[Tammy or Courtney]

A Small Lifetime of Tammy

2009-03-02T15:38:00.002-05:00

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-03-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

[Mandy]

Strain Theory

2009-03-01T11:51:00.002-05:00

Robert King Merton

Other than being that thing that whispers soft perversions to you through the cracks in the walls, Robert King Merton is just another white guy with a sociological theory called Strain Theory, which compares one's interest in conventional goals with one's interest in the conventional way of reaching those goals. The emphasis, or lack of emphasis, that individuals place on either of those two factors, combine to create four types of behaviors that can each conveniently be assigned to Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, and Misty.

To understand Strain Theory, consider the cultural goal to be having a child:

TAMMY: RETREATISM: Person loses sight of both means and goals

Tammy may have a child, but has no memory of the means in which it got there, and certainly isn't going to start to pay attention to any goal now.

MANDY: CONFORMITY: Person continues to accept goals and means set by society.

Mandy values both socially acceptable goals as well as the socially acceptable ways of reaching those goals. While for others the ceremony of getting married outweighs the actuality of marriage, Mandy sincerely values the daily under-salted meals and the occasional Franzia-induced "woman on top" sex that marriage brings- and she gets even more excited when the leeching, Go-Gurt stained offspring eventually show up.

COURTNEY: INNOVATION: Response when person accepts goals set by society but rejects socially acceptable means .

Courtney values and desires socially acceptable goals (like a water bed or novelty Rasta tam hat), but rejects the socially acceptable way of completing them (like paying for things with money). So, if Courtney's aim is to have a baby, she's not as much interested in the process of pregnancy as much as the end goal of having something other than her stuffed animals to watch Baywatch Nights with. So she does it her own way by getting inseminated by her teenage manager, smoking throughout the pregnancy, and scratching out the evidence in the photographs when the kid is old enough to ask questions.

MISTY: RITUALISM: Means and goals conformed to, but person loses sight of goals and has no real interest in outcome.

It may be that Misty likes the sexy Lord-filled copulation, but it's more likely that she enjoys being pregnant because she can't remember what it's like to not be pregnant and her vagina is too elephantine to get a job. Misty doesn't invest much into the end goal of what happens to the child after it comes out, and relies on after school programs, over-the-counter deliriants, and gangs to pick up the slack.

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-02-28T17:45:00.001-05:00

[Tammy]

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-02-27T16:23:00.001-05:00

[Courtney]

Mandys Helping Mandys Keep the Pants High

2009-02-26T16:34:00.002-05:00

The Daily Featured Photograph

2009-02-26T15:29:00.001-05:00

[Tammy]

How to Spot a [Red Hat] Mandy: Tankinis

2009-02-26T11:45:00.012-05:00

Traditional teachings posit that all Mandy bathing suits are one piece scoop-backs, but this style of education fails to recognize the underground revolution that is brewing beneath the surface of contemporary culture. Some modern Mandys are experiencing a spiritual and psychological awakening that results in their refusal to be controlled by the confines of the one piece swim suit any longer. And standing in wait for Mandys who have discovered this freedom is the tankini, which gives both the necessary coverage as well as the pretense that wearing a bathing suit with two pieces increases one's youthfulness and/or ability to use MySpace.