Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
A Lifetime of Awesomeness
There are at least 150 more web cam pictures of this hot-ass Red Hat Mandy in different poses and outfits, so if you need more, just ask.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Optimal Distinctiveness Theory
Optimal Distinctiveness Theory is a social psychological theory which asserts that individuals desire to attain an optimal balance of assimilation and distinction within and between social groups and situations. In American words, that means that people want to be like other people, but also want to be uniquely special, and they have to balance those two desires. Here is a chart that takes this relatively simple idea and demonstrates it in both an insipidly rudimentary and highly incomprehensible way:
Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, and Misty all have their ways of fitting into their own culture, while at the same time defining themselves as distinct individuals. The easiest way to accomplish this is to engage in something that is socially expected, but do it to a distinctive extreme so that it seems to be the creation of oneself. You gotta go all out when you go out.
Tammy:
Tammys think they are inherently unique because they don't tend to believe they belong to any group or culture. But underlying all that is the understanding that there are others like her; so to maintain her distinctiveness, she will try to be the only one in the room who would actually cut you for ten dollars.
Mandy:
Mandy unconsciously attempts to distinguish herself as the most unique Mandy by her relentless participation in programs that have the word "angel" in their title that allow kids in Africa to have Christmas presents or fundraisers for breast cancer awareness that involve cookies or Oprah's Acai berry diet. The more after school coffee hour recycling initiatives, the more strong and unique the Mandy.
Courtney:
If Courtney can't stand out by having the most children in jail, she can always have some sort of plastic product collection ranging from McDonalds toys to garbage tags that outshines everyone else.
Misty:
The easiest, and perhaps most gratifying, way for Misty to be acceptably unique is to fuck up her daughter as much as possible. If her offspring is a ballerina housewife with a PhD in a hard science and has an eating disorder lasting more than 5 years, Misty has defined herself as the most successful Misty- and therefore unique.
Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, and Misty all have their ways of fitting into their own culture, while at the same time defining themselves as distinct individuals. The easiest way to accomplish this is to engage in something that is socially expected, but do it to a distinctive extreme so that it seems to be the creation of oneself. You gotta go all out when you go out.
Tammy:
Tammys think they are inherently unique because they don't tend to believe they belong to any group or culture. But underlying all that is the understanding that there are others like her; so to maintain her distinctiveness, she will try to be the only one in the room who would actually cut you for ten dollars.
Mandy:
Mandy unconsciously attempts to distinguish herself as the most unique Mandy by her relentless participation in programs that have the word "angel" in their title that allow kids in Africa to have Christmas presents or fundraisers for breast cancer awareness that involve cookies or Oprah's Acai berry diet. The more after school coffee hour recycling initiatives, the more strong and unique the Mandy.
Courtney:
If Courtney can't stand out by having the most children in jail, she can always have some sort of plastic product collection ranging from McDonalds toys to garbage tags that outshines everyone else.
Misty:
The easiest, and perhaps most gratifying, way for Misty to be acceptably unique is to fuck up her daughter as much as possible. If her offspring is a ballerina housewife with a PhD in a hard science and has an eating disorder lasting more than 5 years, Misty has defined herself as the most successful Misty- and therefore unique.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Old School American Dream Courtney
Around the same time that bikinis were becoming acceptable beachwear and home appliances and stirrup pants were more affordable than ever, the American Dream Courtney bloomed. She had the middle class budget to consume expensive daily cocktails and have frequent vacations, but was not bogged down by the sort of conventions that would stop her from swearing or doing that to her daughter's hair for her first communion.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
What Musical Instrument They Play
Tammy chose percussion in her high school concert band because she could stand hidden in the back and hurt herself with needles and/or take a sexy photograph with the drums to send to her middle aged boyfriend in prison.
Mandy likes the clarinet because it falls into a feminine wind instrument safety zone that allows for both fun and structure.
It's not that Courtney has the interest or discipline to play a trombone or tuba, it's more like she is a trombone or tuba.
Misty likes the flute because it invokes images of flowing white dresses and an existence without menstrual cycles. She also has to purse her lips as tight as her anus to play it.
Mandy likes the clarinet because it falls into a feminine wind instrument safety zone that allows for both fun and structure.
It's not that Courtney has the interest or discipline to play a trombone or tuba, it's more like she is a trombone or tuba.
Misty likes the flute because it invokes images of flowing white dresses and an existence without menstrual cycles. She also has to purse her lips as tight as her anus to play it.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Categories of Courtney's Boyfriends
There are a couple different forms that Courtney’s boyfriends can take on. First is the traditional back-of-the-school-bus terrorist whose energy goes into making himself puke on the cafeteria table and extending the amount of unsupervised time in the boys locker room that can be used to make fart noises and slam his head into the wall for attention.
The second type of Courtney boyfriend is the hot date boyfriend who likes to talk about cars and pussy so much that he might be gay. Hot date boyfriends spends most of his time stealing money from his mom, collecting a variety of flavored lubricants and contraception, and one time he started writing a poem when he was drunk.
The last type of Courtney boyfriend is the snuggle boyfriend, who was probably the neighbor kid who Courtney hung from a tree when playing in the dirt pile behind her house when she was seven years old. Snuggle boyfriend likes to dance, hold hands, and genuinely never sees it coming each time the couple ends up together at the end of a romantic comedy.
The second type of Courtney boyfriend is the hot date boyfriend who likes to talk about cars and pussy so much that he might be gay. Hot date boyfriends spends most of his time stealing money from his mom, collecting a variety of flavored lubricants and contraception, and one time he started writing a poem when he was drunk.
The third type of Courtney boyfriend is the rock and roll boyfriend who prefers his guitar to text books or dignity.
The last type of Courtney boyfriend is the snuggle boyfriend, who was probably the neighbor kid who Courtney hung from a tree when playing in the dirt pile behind her house when she was seven years old. Snuggle boyfriend likes to dance, hold hands, and genuinely never sees it coming each time the couple ends up together at the end of a romantic comedy.
The Daily Featured Photograph
[The resounding ambiguity of all aspects of this photograph leaves plenty of room for you to decide if they are Tammys, Mandys, Courtneys, or Mistys]
Monday, January 12, 2009
Hybrid in Focus: The American Dream Courtney
There is a variety of Courtney that acquires a middle class or upper middle class income from managing a local electric company or owning a franchise related to parcel services or cell phones. These Courtneys have extra income to frequent tanning beds, vacation in places with free rum drinks, store nacho cheese dip in bulk, collect SUVs, do and buy numerous things related to professional sports teams, and purchase a flat screen TV to use during and in between meal times. These Courtneys may not smell that bad in the daytime, but they still spill their Coors Light in their hair when pissing in the lawn at night.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Hybrid in Focus: Misty in her Heyday
This is a Misty in her prime, back when she could take family vacations at a resort in a place she considered the country that included plush gardens, boating, baby deer, and a swimming pool, all at the cost of only $200 plus the obliteration of any notion that White privilege could finally be toned down a bit to restore the dignity of a country disfigured by centuries of subjugation.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Bros Before Hos
When women are presented with the phrase “bros before hos”, they are forced to interpret and understand it in one of two ways. First is the Tammy way, in which the woman identifies with the bros and therefore makes the word “bro” genderless. Further, if Tammy chooses to use the phrase herself, the word “ho” is made genderless because it can refer to anyone that Tammy is sexing, which are often men. However, this interpretation encourages the longstanding idea that being a ho is negative, even though it can be used in a genderless way.
The second way to interpret “bros before hos” is the Mandy way, in which the woman identifies with the hos. Because the phrase is indicating that bros should have more privileges than hos, Mandy will likely be offended and will respond in one of two ways in which she can regain control. First, even though Mandy identifies with the hos, she can assert that she is not a ho because hos are the bad version of what she is (female) or, secondly, she can reclaim the word and assert that she is indeed a ho and there is nothing wrong with that, making the phrase “bros before hos” unacceptable.
Bro
Ho
The second way to interpret “bros before hos” is the Mandy way, in which the woman identifies with the hos. Because the phrase is indicating that bros should have more privileges than hos, Mandy will likely be offended and will respond in one of two ways in which she can regain control. First, even though Mandy identifies with the hos, she can assert that she is not a ho because hos are the bad version of what she is (female) or, secondly, she can reclaim the word and assert that she is indeed a ho and there is nothing wrong with that, making the phrase “bros before hos” unacceptable.
Bro
Ho
Monday, January 5, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
