Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Daily Featured Photograph
[Tammy family. It's unclear whose idea this actually was, but it seems they all got stoned beforehand.]
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Daily Featured Photograph[s]
Happy Holidays from Courtney families, who remind you that ejaculating inside the vagina does not work as birth control.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
What They Do in Winter
There are four main ways animals survive through cold winters: adaptation, migration, hibernation, and a variety of dormancy called brumation.
Adaptation involves changes in an animal's body, diet, and lifestyle so that it can stay active throughout the the winter. Tammys utilize adaptation by trading in their four wheelers for snowmobiles, tank tops for coats, and hamburgers for venison.
Migration is when an animal travels to a warmer climate where better conditions are available. Mandy is forced to adapt to winter but migrates to Florida whenever she can. She is always awaiting/talking about her holiday vacation to someplace warm.
It was actually difficult to find this tourist Mandy in Florida because there were so many amazing Florida resident Tammys to distract me. They don't have to do anything in winter except look good:
Hibernation is when warm-blooded animals store up fat and sleep for an extended amount of time using very little energy. Courtneys practice this by setting up a microwave right by the couch and not moving until it's warm enough to go get soft serve.
Brumation is used by cold-blooded animals that have no way of staying warm during the winter, other than burrowing. They can and do eat during this time, but can go weeks or months without food and will eat less as the temperature drops. Essentially, this is like hibernation except with some consciousness, which is what Misty endures. During this period of slipping into insanity, Misty pretends that everything is normal and even makes new friends:
Adaptation involves changes in an animal's body, diet, and lifestyle so that it can stay active throughout the the winter. Tammys utilize adaptation by trading in their four wheelers for snowmobiles, tank tops for coats, and hamburgers for venison.
Migration is when an animal travels to a warmer climate where better conditions are available. Mandy is forced to adapt to winter but migrates to Florida whenever she can. She is always awaiting/talking about her holiday vacation to someplace warm.
It was actually difficult to find this tourist Mandy in Florida because there were so many amazing Florida resident Tammys to distract me. They don't have to do anything in winter except look good:
Hibernation is when warm-blooded animals store up fat and sleep for an extended amount of time using very little energy. Courtneys practice this by setting up a microwave right by the couch and not moving until it's warm enough to go get soft serve.
Brumation is used by cold-blooded animals that have no way of staying warm during the winter, other than burrowing. They can and do eat during this time, but can go weeks or months without food and will eat less as the temperature drops. Essentially, this is like hibernation except with some consciousness, which is what Misty endures. During this period of slipping into insanity, Misty pretends that everything is normal and even makes new friends:
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hybrid in Focus: Courtney's Teeth
A defining details of a Courtney is often her uniquely unaltered teeth. Just as thin eyebrows or smoking can turn a Mandy into a Tammy, missing or asymmetrical teeth can turn Mandy into a Courtney.
Two Courtneys that might be Mandys without their distinctive teeth:
Further, it can appear strange for a Courtney to have straight teeth. This is obviously a Courtney family, despite the fact that the Courtney mom has an unusually straight smile:
Monday, December 15, 2008
Christmas Trees
Tammy doesn't really care what kind of Christmas tree she has, just as long as she gets a half day off of work and a gift wrapped carton of cigarettes from her mom. Her tree, if she has one, can be real or fake - it just depends on what is convenient and/or what her benevolent child drags in the house for her.
Mandys' Christmas trees occur the same way her shelves do. First there is the impulsive Id tree, which can be either real or fake, but it is generally cluttered and sparkly.
Next is the Super-Ego tree, which is very organized and delicate. This tree tends to be fake so there are no imperfections. It is so important to Mandy that nothing touches the tree that the cat generally has to live in the garage during the two month period of of the trees presence.
Lastly is the Ego tree, which tends to be real and is a balance of whimsy and organization. Because this tree is for the most mature Mandys, they are generally decorated with basic, DIY ornaments that emphasize that Christmas is is about immaterial things.
Courtney's Christmas trees tend to be fake for reasons of space rather than aesthetic; a fake tree lacks a thick trunk and provides more room to cram presents under. All Courtney needs to do is dump a box of lights and ornaments on the tree and add a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal on top and it's all set.
Misty's Christmas tree can go one of two ways. First is the fake pastel colored tree that grows in a mystical land free of vaginas and spiders:
The second Misty Christmas tree is decorated perfectly but is supposed to look casual. This tree is very similar to Mandy's Super-Ego tree, except that Misty will pretend not to care if a ribbon is misplaced, but will wake up in the middle of the night to fix it.
For Phoebe
Mandys' Christmas trees occur the same way her shelves do. First there is the impulsive Id tree, which can be either real or fake, but it is generally cluttered and sparkly.
Next is the Super-Ego tree, which is very organized and delicate. This tree tends to be fake so there are no imperfections. It is so important to Mandy that nothing touches the tree that the cat generally has to live in the garage during the two month period of of the trees presence.
Lastly is the Ego tree, which tends to be real and is a balance of whimsy and organization. Because this tree is for the most mature Mandys, they are generally decorated with basic, DIY ornaments that emphasize that Christmas is is about immaterial things.
Courtney's Christmas trees tend to be fake for reasons of space rather than aesthetic; a fake tree lacks a thick trunk and provides more room to cram presents under. All Courtney needs to do is dump a box of lights and ornaments on the tree and add a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal on top and it's all set.
Misty's Christmas tree can go one of two ways. First is the fake pastel colored tree that grows in a mystical land free of vaginas and spiders:
The second Misty Christmas tree is decorated perfectly but is supposed to look casual. This tree is very similar to Mandy's Super-Ego tree, except that Misty will pretend not to care if a ribbon is misplaced, but will wake up in the middle of the night to fix it.
For Phoebe
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Tammy/Mandy Holiday Party
Everyone's invited.
No bra needed Christmas Tammy:
Tammy and son:
Tammy with a favorite present:
Mandy owning the copyright to Christmas:
Eggnogged Red Hat Mandy:
Doing it one more year Mandy:
Unfortunate phase for everyone Mandy:
Classic Mandy:
Mandy friends:
Gift wrapped Mandy:
Mandy and a teddy bear Christmas tree:
Christmas Mandy who's pretty confident she's a girl:
Courtney family Christmas:
Keeping Christmas cool Courtney:
Courtney's Christmas boyfriend:
Courtney's present is his hair:
Our present is their Courtney hair:
No big deal Courtney:
Classic constipated Misty:
The holiday wellspring of all things Misty:
A Courtney turned Misty turned murderer if that present isn't a cartoon related stuffed animal:
No bra needed Christmas Tammy:
Tammy and son:
Tammy with a favorite present:
Mandy owning the copyright to Christmas:
Eggnogged Red Hat Mandy:
Doing it one more year Mandy:
Unfortunate phase for everyone Mandy:
Classic Mandy:
Mandy friends:
Gift wrapped Mandy:
Mandy and a teddy bear Christmas tree:
Christmas Mandy who's pretty confident she's a girl:
Courtney family Christmas:
Keeping Christmas cool Courtney:
Courtney's Christmas boyfriend:
Courtney's present is his hair:
Our present is their Courtney hair:
No big deal Courtney:
Classic constipated Misty:
The holiday wellspring of all things Misty:
A Courtney turned Misty turned murderer if that present isn't a cartoon related stuffed animal:
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Hybrid in Focus: Aremeriel
Aremeriel is a classic Courtney, as evidenced by her website that portrays a hardened exterior of a Tammy with a Mandy interior obsessed with small animals. Aremeriel's many interests include personal drawings of mythical ladies, horses, and self portraits:
Her tattoos:
Jewelry/Belt Making:
And her cat, as well as her possibly illegal amount of small breed dogs:
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
The Strange Transition from Courtney to Misty
The character of Courtney is as opposite to Misty as science allows, mainly due to her relentless disinterest in being conscious of how she presents herself, as well as her ability to be easily placated by free soda refills. But sometimes, due to some unusual glitch, a Courtney can morph into a Misty. This usually occurs in one of two ways.
First, a Courtney who has both the looks of a traditional mid-grade porn star and a lack of a television in her bedroom can slowly become more attentive to herself than her Disney posters. Courtney's strong interest in external things can slip into an interest in her external self and create a lifetime of anxieties that plague her long enough to turn into a Misty.
Second, sometimes Courtney's blind luck and impenetrable patience can run out and the results of eating of beef flavored plastic, letting her adult son breed rats in the house, and having poor government assistance actually sucks.
First, a Courtney who has both the looks of a traditional mid-grade porn star and a lack of a television in her bedroom can slowly become more attentive to herself than her Disney posters. Courtney's strong interest in external things can slip into an interest in her external self and create a lifetime of anxieties that plague her long enough to turn into a Misty.
Second, sometimes Courtney's blind luck and impenetrable patience can run out and the results of eating of beef flavored plastic, letting her adult son breed rats in the house, and having poor government assistance actually sucks.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Suggestions
I am working on an illegal, low quality Best of Tammy and Mandy book, and I'm interested in your suggestions of what it should include, other than this Courtney:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
No One Has a Tammy Mom?
No one has a mother who used to be some variation of any of these?:
And now maybe looks like one of these?:
And now maybe looks like one of these?:
The One Who Doesn't Belong
The Courtney on the left thought that she and her Mandy friends were just hanging out in the coolest living room ever, waiting for someone to bring them JELLO jigglers and a TV.
The woman on the right is a Tammy among Mandys because she is the only one begging the camera to make the middle-aged photographer take off the clown wig and stop making duck noises.
It's unclear who the boy on the left will become when he grows up, but it's certain that he doesn't want to spend another night drinking expensive whiskey and cutting off enemies' fingers for fun with the rest of his Tammy family.
When these two Courtneys mated, it seemed more likely that she would give birth to some sort of mangled cat or a broken Nerf gun rather than an angel-faced Mandy that smells like powdered sugar.
It might seem like the Mandy on the left has the raw end of the deal with both her mother and sister being unhappy and uptight Mistys, but in actuality her ability to find joy in small things like Lisa Frank stickers bother the Mistys so much that neither have made a bowel movement in 4 months.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
