Monday, December 22, 2008

Tammy and Mandy Are Out On Holiday

Tammy and Mandy will resume on January 5th, 2009.
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The Daily Featured Photograph

[Tammy]
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Featured Tammy: Using the Web Cam

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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Daily Featured Photograph

[Tammy family. It's unclear whose idea this actually was, but it seems they all got stoned beforehand.]
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Friday, December 19, 2008

The Daily Featured Photograph[s]

Happy Holidays from Courtney families, who remind you that ejaculating inside the vagina does not work as birth control.

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Daily Featured Photograph

[Mandys in Tammy shoes]
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What They Do in Winter

There are four main ways animals survive through cold winters: adaptation, migration, hibernation, and a variety of dormancy called brumation.

Adaptation involves changes in an animal's body, diet, and lifestyle so that it can stay active throughout the the winter. Tammys utilize adaptation by trading in their four wheelers for snowmobiles, tank tops for coats, and hamburgers for venison.
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Migration is when an animal travels to a warmer climate where better conditions are available. Mandy is forced to adapt to winter but migrates to Florida whenever she can. She is always awaiting/talking about her holiday vacation to someplace warm.
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It was actually difficult to find this tourist Mandy in Florida because there were so many amazing Florida resident Tammys to distract me. They don't have to do anything in winter except look good:

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Hibernation is when warm-blooded animals store up fat and sleep for an extended amount of time using very little energy. Courtneys practice this by setting up a microwave right by the couch and not moving until it's warm enough to go get soft serve.
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Brumation is used by cold-blooded animals that have no way of staying warm during the winter, other than burrowing. They can and do eat during this time, but can go weeks or months without food and will eat less as the temperature drops. Essentially, this is like hibernation except with some consciousness, which is what Misty endures. During this period of slipping into insanity, Misty pretends that everything is normal and even makes new friends:
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Daily Featured Photograph

[Tammy and Misty]
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Hybrid in Focus: Courtney's Teeth

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A defining details of a Courtney is often her uniquely unaltered teeth. Just as thin eyebrows or smoking can turn a Mandy into a Tammy, missing or asymmetrical teeth can turn Mandy into a Courtney.

Two Courtneys that might be Mandys without their distinctive teeth:
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Further, it can appear strange for a Courtney to have straight teeth. This is obviously a Courtney family, despite the fact that the Courtney mom has an unusually straight smile:

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How to Spot a Tammy: Cigarettes in Her G-string

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Monday, December 15, 2008

The Daily Featured Photograph

[Mandy]
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Christmas Trees

Tammy doesn't really care what kind of Christmas tree she has, just as long as she gets a half day off of work and a gift wrapped carton of cigarettes from her mom. Her tree, if she has one, can be real or fake - it just depends on what is convenient and/or what her benevolent child drags in the house for her.
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Mandys' Christmas trees occur the same way her shelves do. First there is the impulsive Id tree, which can be either real or fake, but it is generally cluttered and sparkly.
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Next is the Super-Ego tree, which is very organized and delicate. This tree tends to be fake so there are no imperfections. It is so important to Mandy that nothing touches the tree that the cat generally has to live in the garage during the two month period of of the trees presence.
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Lastly is the Ego tree, which tends to be real and is a balance of whimsy and organization. Because this tree is for the most mature Mandys, they are generally decorated with basic, DIY ornaments that emphasize that Christmas is is about immaterial things.
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Courtney's Christmas trees tend to be fake for reasons of space rather than aesthetic; a fake tree lacks a thick trunk and provides more room to cram presents under. All Courtney needs to do is dump a box of lights and ornaments on the tree and add a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal on top and it's all set.
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Misty's Christmas tree can go one of two ways. First is the fake pastel colored tree that grows in a mystical land free of vaginas and spiders:
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The second Misty Christmas tree is decorated perfectly but is supposed to look casual. This tree is very similar to Mandy's Super-Ego tree, except that Misty will pretend not to care if a ribbon is misplaced, but will wake up in the middle of the night to fix it.
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For Phoebe