The Daily Featured Photograph

(Mandys)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(A Courtney living room)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(Mandy)

How to Spot a Mandy: She Could Be Six Years Old

The Daily Featured Photograph

(I think she is a Courtney)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(Misty family)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(It was a tie. Pick your favorite Tammy with man and belt.)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(Courtney with boyfriend/husband who is more interested in hanging out than being decisive on whether he is, or is not, part of the photograph)

Mandy Still Likes It

The Featured Daily Photograph

(Rare Street Warrior Mandys)

Mistys Before The Change

Here are Mistys in the preliminary stages of their development where they hardly even have begun to notice the smells that waft up from between their legs. Although they are almost unrecognizable as Mistys, it is clear they do not have any other direction to go in.

Featured Mandy: Lynn

Lynn is a no nonsense Mandy who takes portraits seriously.

The Daily Featured Photograph

(Misty at 30 years old)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(The thin line between Tammy and Courtney)

The Daily Featured Photograph

(Mandy)

Everyone With Budweiser

Tammy:


Mandy:


Courtney:


Misty:

The Daily Featured Photograph

(Tammy friends)

Misty's Interior Design

A. Cats
Misty's who consider themselves elegant will always love fancy cats (not outdoor dumpster cats, but pretty ones that sit and do nothing all day). These can include large cats like leopards, jaguars, etc. Trinkets of cats on Misty's shelf will be very fragile and beautiful.

B. Birds
As some sort of compliment to, or duality with, the cats, Misty is also into birds (the caged kind). Although Misty identifies with being a pissy and glamorous cat, part of her knows that she is the opposite of a free and lavish animal, and more like the lame metaphor of a bird in cage. To stifle her oppression, Misty oppresses (and keeps birds in cages as part of her decor).


Misty with a bird


Misty and the foreboding authority of her husband and shadowy bird cage

C. Things in plastic covering
Misty has classic obsessive compulsive disorder issues that make parts of her house look like a hotel room. Covering things in plastic ensure that they will never get dirty (note: this does not apply to the Christian tier of Mistys who are against birth control).

D. Excess gold and mirrors
The only thing Misty has in common with children and cocaine addicts from the early nineties is that they all think gold and mirrors are fancy.

E. Doily
As the classic adornment to constipated people everywhere, the doily can be found in most Misty living spaces.

F. Fake Flowers

The Daily Featured Photograph

Today I will be initiating The Daily Featured Photograph which will showcase a favorite picture, daily. If I had to narrow down my taste in women into a type, she would be my type:

(Tammy)

What They Do With Babies

Tammy:

What she does: She's not sure
Why she does it: She forgot to use a condom

Mandy:

What she does: Love it, hug it, weep in its presence
Why she does it: Instead seeing babies as squirming, unprepared slabs of animals, Mandy sees babies as the purest part of life and relentlessly loves them without condition.

Courtney:

What she does: Get its picture taken
Why she does it: Not only does Courtney think that her pale little bag of flesh and poop is adorable, she hasn't gotten this much attention for anything except her troll doll collection or the time she threw up in the pool during gym class.

Misty:

What she does: Pinch it
Why she does it: Because, really, there is no god.

Tuesday Query: Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, Misty, or Mutant Cat?

Tammy's Mildly Suggestive Home Poses

Because Tammy isn't much into taking studio photos, she sometimes takes shots of herself at home that can be sent to her girlfriend in jail, posted on the internet, or used for an eventual missing person poster. These portraits vary from Mandy, Courtney, and Misty in that they are aware of, and quietly defensive of, their slight sexuality. The only one bordering on the unaware sloppiness of Courtney is the last woman, who has been drinking (as evidenced by the photo).











Evidence of drinking:

Everyone With Wicker Chairs

Tammy:


Mandy:


Courtney:


Misty:

Mandy's Daughters and Picture Day

Mandy cannot help putting shit on her daughter's head during picture day.









Mandy may go overboard with what her daughters wear for picture day, but Misty rivals her with what she makes her boys wear:

It's not really the inexplicable shirt with the snaps and the lacing or the pink shorts that are the problem, but more the socks with slip-on sandals like they're preparing him to be some kind drunk yacht owner who gets to do whatever he wants.


Misty is mistaken to believe that dressing up the other kid in the same clothes as her legitimate son makes it seem like she didn't have an affair with her cousin.


This is kid is actually ok because all he has to do is take off his jacket and get a cat or saxophone, and he'll become a really big Mandy/ the impetus for his father's suicide.

The TMCM Food Chain

The TammyMandyCourtneyMisty food chain ecompasses the way food and products are made and consumed among different types of people. Tammy’s identity is dependent on knowing the severity and ruthlessness of the world, and she takes it upon herself to work under conditions that accentuate her reality; she shovels the shit. Mandy then has the responsibility to take this information of godlessness from Tammy and turn it into something hopeful. Therefore, Mandy must know some of the bad, but have the ability to change it into something optimistic. From here, Courtney is the blind beneficiary and consumer of Mandy’s work, making it very easy for her to believe in god. Misty knows the truth about where things come from, but unsuccessfully tries to alleviate the stress of that knowledge through creating a love/hate relationship with the revamped product that results in consuming too much, or withholding herself from consuming anything. Essentially, Tammy kills an animal, Mandy turns this carcass into food, Courtney eats it, and Misty has an eating disorder.


Tammy hunting


Mandy turning death into dinner



Courtney consuming



Misty not eating. She will later eat KFC in the bathroom.

Cleaning Out The Photo Album Olan Mills Couples Shots

Olan Mills is a popular portrait photography company, especially for couples.

Mandys:




















Courtneys:






Mistys:

The Updated Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale from 1948 is the outdated way of describing the variance of individuals’ sexual orientation. It uses a scale from 0, meaning strictly heterosexual, to 6, meaning strictly homosexual. Even though it is a busted tool, I can use it to make a more complicated and useless diagram of how Tammy and Mandy works.

__________________________________________
0: Exclusively Tammy


__________________________________________
1: Predominantly Tammy; Only incidentally Mandy

__________________________________________

2: Predominantly (internally) Tammy;

But more than incidentally (externally) Mandy:

Misty


__________________________________________
3: Equally Tammy and Mandy: The Rare Berdache


__________________________________________
4: Predominantly (internally) Mandy;

But more than incidentally (externally) Tammy:
Courtney

___________________________________________
5: Predominantly Mandy; Only incidentally Tammy

___________________________________________
6: Exclusively Mandy

___________________________________________

Featured Tammy: Name Unknown

Tammy and Mandy Overlap: Removable Wings

Reminiscent of the unicorn dichotomy, Tammy wears fake wings as an invasive reminder that she can steal your boyfriend with her angelic tits, while Mandy is solely interested in being the most beautiful butterfly there ever was.

Tammy:


Mandy:

Tammy Turns The Most Crank

Tammy received 45% of your votes:


Courtney, Misty, and Mandy doing less crank turning:


Final Results:
Tammy: 10 votes
Mandy: 4 votes
Courtney: 4 votes
Misty: 4 votes