Tammy and Mandy Will Return Mid September

How to Spot a Tammy: She Looks Like This In Florida

An Off-The-Shoulder Shout Out To Portland

Tammy:


Mandy:


Courtney::


Misty:

Mandys Posing For Professional Photographs With Their Stuffed Animals

This collection will be added to as more photographs appear. There will probably be Courtneys, as well.

Fun Loving Mandys In Fours

Where It All Began

I think I have found a rare photo of the original, undiluted Tammy breed family, before anything soft got mixed into the genes:

The Adam and Eve of Tammy:

Hybrid in Focus: Courtney's Boyfriend

The combination of relentless love and an immaculate absence of expectations will usually guarantee that a heterosexual Courtney finds a boyfriend who resembles something like the above. After a courting phase filled with Gatorade, Dawson’s Creek reruns, and finger fucking behind the car wash, their love is usually consummated and the boyfriend’s indolent sperm will slowly knock around inside Courtney until one accidentally nudges into the egg and a baby is formed. From here, there is either a wedding characterized by an excess of mayonnaise-based casseroles and Courtney’s dream date becomes her husband, or they break up because Courtney rather spend her nights drinking with the girls before she becomes a mom.

Courtneys and her boyfriends:










A redeeming aspect of Courtney's boyfriend is that he is not Misty's boyfriend:

How to Wear Denim

Tammy:

Any holes in Tammy's jeans are actually less the result of kicking your ass than the friction of her soda rubbing in between her thighs on a daily basis.

Mandy:

Mandy knows that an entire outfit made of denim distracts from any problem areas like the hips or being a 27 year old in high school.

Courtney:

It’s good for Courtney to wear her denim as something that can be thrown up on for times like the one night when she was 14 and did too many cough syrup and vodka shots, or for the baby that resulted.

Misty:

This photograph of Misty in a jean jacket does not only demonstrate that she knows what the kids are wearing, it also shows her husband the loser whose herpes she will come home with unless he buys the in-ground swimming pool she wants.

Cleaning Out The Photo Album: Traditional Tammy and Mandy Hair

Tammy:








Mandy:

Some Courtney Gams

Because there's nothing else to offer

The David Lynch Tammy, Mandy, Courtney, and Misty

With a Blonde-Brunette duality.

Tammy:


Mandy:


Courtney:


Misty:

The Hottest Thing I've Seen on the Internet

I finally understand all the mysticism and fantasy that douche bags have been attributing to girl on girl action for so long. Probably if I stare at the pictures long enough, those Tammys will invite me to join in and crown me king of the beach.

How to Spot a Tammy: Great Head

Embryology

Just as many undeveloped animal fetuses start out looking very similar to one another, American teens have a tendency to all look like they might end up being the same species. The default teen fetus will appear to be a Mandy, although there are subtle variations that indicate that the adult result will be something other than Mandy. Developing teens will often congregate together in their natural environment of school dances where photographs of the event are taken to provide a plethora of evidence to investigate.

1. Teen Fetus A will result in the Classic Mandy, who you can identify by the consistency that she doesn’t mind the tedium of being alive. Interests will already include appetizers with dipping sauces, anything in costumes, and the hidden inspirational meaning behind falling snow.

2. Teen Fetus B will result in the Shy Mandy, sometimes referred to as the Diary Mandy. A burgeoning Shy Mandy is literally suppressing a combination of giggles and lust at all times. She will masturbate over just the thought of a lit candle and will later write about it in her journal.

3. Teen Fetus C will result in some variation of a Courtney. Future Courtneys are easily identified by their low expectations and happiness; for example, she will be content if the sleep-over doesn’t include Doritos, but ecstatic if it does include Doritos. She will accidentally have sex with her school bus driver by age 17.

4. Teen Fetus D will result in a Misty and can be identified by her unique inability to admit she has an anus.

5. Teen Fetus E will result in a Closeted Tammy, who will not have the potential to unveil her true Tammyness until their twenties. These kinds tend to have sharper faces with narrow noses and will always look alien in a dress.

Note: Future Purebred Tammy teens are like shark fetuses in that they are identifiable early on and only attack if provoked. They do not like to be photographed.

A Tammy Dressed Like A Misty

It's no disguise.

Mandy/Misty Challenge: Adults in Dance Class

Once children in dance classes reach puberty and stop being sexy, they enter a whole new territory where teens and adults do tap and jazz dancing as a hobby and still perform in the yearly recital. They are old enough to have babies, yet they still wear corsets and make-up. The question is, are these revoltingly nubile dancers Mandys or Mistys?

Traditional Dance Class Participants:


The Older Generations: Mandy or Misty?

Misty Turns Your Crank

It’s understandable that one would want to veil their shameful and harrowing sexual disorder that resulted from incorrect breastfeeding or a traumatic stuffed animal, but now’s the time to step up and admit your preference for Snow White’s cunty stepmother or some nouveau alcoholic whore reincarnation like Mrs. Robinson. Mistys are out there keeping your cheap perversions alive so that you don’t drown your children. Show some respect and vote.

Myth Dispelled: Mandys Can Like Snakes

According to dreammoods.com, the presence of snakes "symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality".

Indeed.