Saturday, May 31, 2008

Celebrity Mandy: Richard Simmons

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Richard Simmons is one of the strongest Mandys in both America and Canada combined, fulfilling almost 100% of the strict purebred criteria:
  • Positive attitude: Richard believes in dreams, faith, a reason for everything, and probably leprechauns- and his sole intention is to motivate you to feel the same way. He is an evangelist for the way of Mandy.
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  • Weight loss: Richard is committed to staying slim, but without restrictive diets. That means weight loss and chocolate.
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  • Dolls: Richard loves, collects and sells dolls, such as this one:
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  • Associations: Richard has used his popularity to penetrate the inner circle of powerful Mandy media. Here he is with two Mandy Christ figures, Rosie O'Donnell and Celine Dion:

The Daily Mandy Glamour Shot

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The Daily Unhappy Tammy

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Friday, May 30, 2008

The Daily Unhappy Tammy

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Tammys Who Use the Computer

75% of Tammys who have computer skills use them to go on internet dating sites, and 95% of Tammys who go on internet dating sites have one goal in mind: to find someone to "snuggle on the couch watching movies" with, which is easy to translate.

Tammys from internet dating sites who stated they were into "couch snuggling":

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(she might actually just want to snuggle [above])

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The Daily Mandy Glamour Shot

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Misty for the Afternoon

She really wants to like the figurines.

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Cigarettes and Diet Soda

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Are these women Tammys or Mandys? There seems to be two opposing factors: cigarettes and diet pepsi. Tammys like cigarettes and Mandys like their diet soda and science would suggest that they would each stick to their own vice. However, there is a breed of Tammys that enjoy both and they tend to be a fierce strand. Just as these Tammys enjoy both tabasco sauce and pancake syrup, they can enjoy both cigarettes and diet pepsi.

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More Tammys smoking:

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Mandys and diet soda:

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Celebrity Tammy: Bea Arthur

David Bowie in Labyrinth wasn’t the only one to disrupt your sense of gender when you were a kid.

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This is when the girls go on a murder mystery weekend vacation. Dorothy single handedly solves the crime, right after she throws this zinger at Blanche:

The Daily Mandy Glamour Shot

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

How to Spot a Tammy: Certain Shades of Blonde

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Myth Dispelled: Mandys Can Like Guns

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The Daily Mandy Glamour Shot

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Tammy versus Mandy: Pregnancy

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Emily Carroll once said that only Mandys would look at a picture of a fetus in a sonogram and think it's cute. Mandys love the whole process of pregnancy, especially when it results with a baby being born. Tammys aren't that interested in any of it; they just throw the baby on the pile with the rest of them when it's all over.

Tammy Pregnant:

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Mandy pregnant:
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Courtneys and Mistys also get pregnant. Courtney, being that she is a Mandy on the inside, loves breeding. Mistys, who have no sincere connection to pregnancy or children, have endless amounts of kids in an attempt to disguise her disinterest.
Courtney versus Misty:
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Daily Mandy Glamour Shot

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The Tammy You Know

Everyone knows, or has known, a Tammy who looks exactly like this:
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Tammy and Mandy Overlap: Unicorns

It turns out that just as both Tammy and Mandy like horses, they also both like horses with horns on their heads that aren’t real; but they are each interested in different types of unicorns. Sigmund Freud, the guy who studied Mandy’s shelves, again helps to explain the variation in unicorns. The anal stage is the term Freud used to describe the development during the second year of life, in which a child's pleasure and conflict centers are in the anal area. This stage is exemplified by a toddler's pleasure in controlling his or her bowels.

When there is excessive gratification in this stage, it leads to the development of an extremely generous, unorganized personality called anal expulsive. Those who are anally-expulsive are said to have been liberally trained at using the toilet as children. The demand for perfection was not strictly adhered to (by the parent or parents). An anal expulsive personality is broadly defined as exhibiting cruelty, emotional outbursts, disorganization, self-confidence, liberal-mindedness, generosity, rebelliousness and general carelessness. The anal expulsive unicorn is the unicorn that Tammy likes. Tammy wears this unicorn, especially on a t-shirt or tattoo, as a big ‘fuck you’ to her audience. They are usually accompanied by lightning or something equally as tough and out of control, and are commonly airbrushed. The unicorn is both feminine and rough, often like Tammy herself. The anal expulsive unicorn:


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When gratification does not occur in the anal stage, the individual becomes extremely organized and develop a personality called anal retentive. Freud theorized that children who experience conflicts during this period of time may develop this personality trait associated with a child's efforts at excretory control: orderliness, stubbornness, a compulsion for control, as well as a generalized interest in collecting, possessing, and retaining objects. Mandy likes this type of attractive, clean and straightforward unicorn. It is easy to see why Mandy likes unicorns because they satisfy her need for pretty and happy childhood mysticism, as well as appease some derailed or repressed sexual desires. The anal retentive unicorn:

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